I decided to go to work today. It wasn't too bad. I'm definitely still stiff and sore, especially my neck, but I am feeling better compared to yesterday. It was a slow day at work so it's all good.
I'll forewarn you that this post is long and wordy and.... inconclusive lol. I've been obsessing over the fall since it happened. I switch between mentally chewing myself out for being stupid enough to ride him bareback in a halter when he'd had several days off and being mad at him for being such a stupid idiot when he's normally such a sensible horse, but humans will be humans and horses will be horses and I need to let it all go.
I've been thinking over the spookiness and I thought it was the cool weather, but then I realized that I started feeding him Empower Boost (a fat supplement) about the time this all started..... STUPID!!! He lost weight last winter for the first time so I was trying to get a jump on the calories before the cold really hit. Not my best idea. It was too many calories and has been making him very energetic and up. He's also developing fat pads so I am taking him off of it and all he will get is hay and his ration balancer unless he actually does lose weight. So hopefully that will solve one of our problems. Too bad it takes so long for me to figure crap out. :(
So here are the details of the fall. I walked outside just before dark and called Chrome. He came out of the barn, his mouth full of hay and nickered at me. I put his halter on, then used the round pen panels to get on bareback. As soon as I asked him to walk I could feel that he was very energetic, but he only walked and was listening. Then Jackal started trailing rabbits and I was watching him and laughing.
I finally asked Chrome to walk toward the back of the pasture, but we were still in the front (I don't like to ride in the back when bareback and in a halter). I was planning to circle around toward the front, but he was trying to turn that way toward the barn on his own. I corrected him twice (just steering him away, not scolding him or anything). The next thing I know he spins to his left (toward the barn). I manage to sit the spin, but it felt like he was going to bolt, so I was pulling his head around. Unfortunately I shifted off balance at the same time and was pulling on the rope, trying to hang on. At some point while all of the was happening he went from bolting, to running sideways out from under me and I came off.
So what I've been obsessing over is this... did he spook, spin and then decide to take off because he was feeling frisky, then panicked when I started to fall? Or did he spin and bolt to be a barn sour asshole and then panicked when I started to fall? I honestly for the life of me can not figure out if he spooked or if he was being a jerk... and that really bothers me. I don't know if I should give him the benefit of the doubt or crack down on him for being bad... When I fell he took off and stopped under a tree (didn't go all the way to the gate or to the barn) and stood frozen with his head straight up in the air. The whole time I was on the ground, trying to breathe, then relaxing until I caught my breath and the pain subsided, then standing up and dusting off, then limping over to him, he NEVER MOVED! That seems like fear to me. Was it fear from whatever spooked him, from me coming off or was he afraid I was mad at him? Also the tree he was standing under is on the other side of the round pen so he had to run toward the gate, then cut around the panels and then spin to face back in the other direction.
He let me walk right up to him and followed me out to the spot where he spooked. He stood still while I untied the rope. He was very up, but didn't seem afraid of me or anything, until I popped him on the butt because I wanted him to longe and he was ignoring me. I think that's when he realized I was mad because he scurried around me. I made him change directions several times and longed him both where he spooked and where I fell. This was on a normal length lead rope and he was even cantering around me at times. I've never seen him canter such a tiny circle. I don't know if I overreacted or not. The only time I hit him was when I popped him with the rope for ignoring my initial request to longe.
At one point I asked him to change directions and he spun around, leaped into the air and kicked out toward me. I went ballistic, screaming at him and making him run backwards. When I finally let him stop, he stood frozen. Then I walked up to him and led him back out into the open so I could longe him some more. He let me approach and he walked right by my side. I longed him again. When the pain started getting to me (couldn't have been for than five minutes) I led him up to the house and tied him to a tree.
So that is the entire sequence of events. I'm not leaving anything out. I'm not fudging on details. I'm not sugarcoating anything. I was so shocked (once inside I started shivering like crazy) and angry that the details are definitely not clear (except for the part where I was laying on the ground and couldn't draw air in... that is excruciatingly clear), but I remember everything. I remember when I undid my chin strap because I thought I was suffocating. I remember where he spooked, where I fell, where he was standing, everything. I did not black out and I was not disoriented. Even with all of that I have NO IDEA what the heck happened!!!!!! I could analyze this for days and I still don't think I'll ever know the truth.
To me it felt like a spook and spin. Then, because he was feeling up and barn sour, he decided to bolt. When I screamed and started to fall he panicked, went sideways, I came off and he ran away. That's what I think happened. So it was partly innocent and partly him being a jerk. If that's not what happened I really don't want to be unfair to him though.
So I've decided to keep working him consistently from the ground, because I hurt too bad to get on and frankly at this moment in time I don't ever care to be on the back of a horse again. I'm going to stay cool headed and calm when I work him. As pissed as I am I will not take it out on him because I'm as much at fault for poor judgement (bareback/halter/fresh horse) as he is.
After work today I decided to longe him because I don't want him thinking longeing is a torture session. I wanted to remind him that the longe is okay.
I put the halter and long driving rein on him so he wouldn't be on a tiny circle and took my long longeing whip. He wanted to take off as soon as I asked him to go, but I insisted he walk. He calmed down pretty quick when he realized all I wanted him to do was walk. I walked him in both directions for seven or eight minutes and then asked him to trot. He again wanted to bolt, but I insisted and he trotted around me with his head in the clouds. After switching directions a couple of times he started lowering his head and chewing. I immediately praised him vocally. He obviously tried to stop when I said good boy, but I insisted he kept going. I made sure that when I asked him to stop so we could switch directions that I asked when he had his head down.
He was doing great and I was about to quit when the goats started tearing through, around and on top (okay on the fenders) of the horse trailer. His head and tail went up and he started being stupid. I scolded him and insisted he walk. Once he could walk calmly again I asked him to trot. Once he was trotting calmly with his head down I let him stop. He never threatened me, never bucked, never kicked, never spooked, never spun, never avoided me when I approached him, nothing. All he did was put his tail up, bolt and was slow to respond to my cues when he was distracted, but we worked through all of it until he was calm. The whole session was only 16 minutes.
Because I'm just weird I put my husband's cell phone in a pouch around Chrome's neck with Endomondo on because I wanted to see how many miles a horse covers while longeing, but the stupid thing didn't count the distance because I guess it thought he was standing still. Darn! GPS has it's limitations I guess hehe. That has no relevance to anything. That's just me being weird.
So after everything his stifles seem fine, so I'm probably going to keep doing some longeing and handwalking for a few days until I find the nerve to get back on. I will NOT be riding him bareback or in the halter again until he proves he's trustworthy. I really hope taking him off the fat supplement helps calm him down some. It's nice having a horse with some energy, but having a spooky, stupid horse is not nice at all. :\
Well that's where we are. I still feel like I have no idea what happened or what's going to happen, but I'm trying not to worry about it. I have a tendency to obsess over things I don't understand or that are out of my control and I've been working really hard on trying not to do that. So I've written all of this out and now I'm going to let it go. Thank you for listening. If anyone wants to stick up for Chrome and remind me why I love him, go for it. If you have suggestions on how to work on our confidence, I appreciate that too. Please don't tell me how stupid I am though because I'm already aware of that.
Sorry for the double post today. I only have today and tomorrow to finish up my recap before it's January (how did that happen??), so I had to post those. I'll keep you guys updated on what is happening. Here's hoping 2015 is a fresh start and that we can move past this really quickly and not dwell on it or backtrack too much.
P.S. I also forgot to mention, we will no longer be having piddly rides. When I ride I'm going to be working on teaching him something and paying one hundred percent attention to him. I will no longer be a passenger! I've always known how dangerous that can be, but it's easy to forget sometimes and just let yourself get swept away in relaxing and enjoying the scenery. Maybe in ten years when he has a LOT more experience I will do that, but for right now he will have a job when I'm on his back. That job is to pay attention to ME, listen to ME, respond to ME and submit to ME. I'm not going to be mean. I'm going to be consistent. No more coddling. We can enjoy each others company on the ground from now on. If that makes him sour to riding because he's a lazy baby who wants to do whatever he wants to do when he wants to do it, that's just too damn bad. Safety is key. Once he learns boundaries we can get back to doing what he enjoys. Until then, it's boot camp time. Now you guys have to remind me of this when I get lazy because I'm the most consistently inconsistent person in existence lol. I probably have no right to be raising a greenie, but I'm not backing out now. I gave him a great foundation and we can build on that if I remind myself every ride that I am riding a green horse. Anyway I'll stop rambling.
So, I got some of that Empower Boost and was amazed by the fat content. It was about 22%, more than I've seen in any other weight supplement. But it was also 22% starch and 4% sugar. So, I'm only giving it to the horses when I know I won't be riding them for a while. It definitely gets them hyper, but it seems to be the quickest way to put on weight -- more so than straight beet pulp or straight rice bran. I picked up some Cool Calories this weekend. I don't like powders because I can't fathom how one little tiny scoop of powder that smells like Metamucil can help a horse gain weight, but Christine uses it and said it took a while, but her horse did eventually gain weight. Anyway, I'll be interested in hearing if Chrome settles down when you take him off the Boost, because experimenting with weight gain supplements has been very much on my mind lately.
ReplyDeleteOh wow I knew it was high fat, but I didn't know about the starch and sugar. I'll definitely keep you updated on how taking him off of it affects his hyper spookiness. It definitely put weight on him. He has several fat pads (which I just noticed today otherwise I would have taken him off of it before now). Let me know how the cool calories work. If he does start to lose weight I might switch to that instead. He has never been this hyper and energetic in all the time I've known him. At first it was really nice having the extra energy because I was getting prompt transitions and he was holding his canter for more than a few strides, but with the bolting and bigger and bigger spooks it's just not worth it. :\
DeleteI've been using the Cool Calories on one of my Friesian mares - we had a bad experience with a product that had sugar in it. She's a hard keeper but this product really seems to be working. Like NuzMu, I was highly skeptical at first because you feed just a scoop, it smells like lemon drink mix, and just does not seem like anything that would work. But, after being on it for a couple of months, she is finally loosing that bony look and hasn't gone insane. Good luck!
DeleteRegardless of the how or why, it sounds like you are in a great place mentally right now. It is so easy to get lax around young green horses when they have a generally calm personality. But they are young and green, and for everyone's safety it is important to never fully trust them and to be prepared for the "what if" senario until they are much older and have earned it.
ReplyDeleteTo me it sounds like he spooked and was then scared by you falling. That is why he stood there in shock after you fell. It is rare I think for a horse to actually be mean. A mean spirited horse would have additionally trompled you and or just galloped off wothout a concern in the world. It is alway important to keep your cool and not let your emotions come into play. I know that is harder said then done, but it is really important. From his perspective, it wasn't emotional. He was put in a new situation and something freaky and unexpected happened to him. As he saw it, you unexpectedly got off balance and hit the ground. You, who normally stays up on his back. He stood under that tree thinking WTF just happened to me? I wouldn't put anymore weight to it than that. He is a good horse, with a lovely demeanor, whom you love. Take him off the high calorie supplement, put on your tack, take a deep breath and get back on him soon. You will feel so glad you did. Hugs...
Thank you Renee. You are so right... about everything... thank you!
Deleteglad you're feeling better and good luck figuring it all out :( i know a lot of horses will get upset when they feel their rider losing balance - and Chrome really doesn't have a lot of experience with that sensation. hopefully the dietary changes and your training/boot camp ideas will avoid this kind of thing in the future.
ReplyDeletenot sure if this will make you feel any better, but a horse in my lesson last week was feeling feisty and let out a BIG buck that tossed her rider... she immediately looked SOOO contrite and guilty, and trotted around like her normal lazy lesson horse self after that. so maybe Chrome will have a similar understanding of what happened? good luck!!
I think he was definitely confused and frightened by me falling off. I need a vaulting rider or acrobat to ride him and bounce on and off to desensitize him to it LOL!! I'll just have to see how he acts when I get back on. It's hard to tell what is going on in his head because he's right back to acting normal. He doesn't dwell on things like I do. Thanks for the comment!!
DeleteI would try not to obsess over the hows and whys. Falls happen...they are part of the sport. Try not to dwell..horses are just unpredictable by nature. Sometimes they just do things like spook and feel good. Sometimes we fall. It's part of the deal when riding. Glad you are feeling better!
ReplyDeleteI know. It's just in my nature to obsess. I'm trying really hard to let it go though. Thank you!!
DeleteI'm glad you felt well enough to go to work. I totally understand trying to piece together the accident---it's how we attempt to not let that happen again, we look for clues that might save us next time. My fall in August was so fast - I hit the ground and was lying there before I even knew what happened. I never even saw my horse look at something. It's such an odd thing to have no idea why it happened and so disconcerting to know there's no way to avoid it in the future if there was no forewarning. Skilled, cautious riders notice things in their horses and prevent falls, right? Mine wasn't nearly as bad as yours physically but I'm still dealing with the repercussions. Every time I ride my brain says, "When will that happen again? This ride or next?" Riding a spooky horse is like a horse who is clumsy and falls with its rider - you never know when it will happen, just that it will, and it's hard for me to enjoy a gallop or canter, ever, on a horse who trips. I'm making it worse for you, aren't I? Sorry. I just wanted to say I understand your need to ponder it.
ReplyDeleteNo you aren't making it worse because that's exactly how I feel! I'm glad you understand. I hope we both can move past this and that it doesn't happen again to either of us. :-) I'm really wishing I had an arena to ride in because it would hurt a lot less to fall on sand than it did on our like concrete dirt lol.
DeleteGood dissection. I tend to vote that Chrome was not being a 'jerk' but rather making decisions that were not his to make. I wonder if a rabbit rustling in the brush was the initial cause of all the havoc. I have a few thoughts (but feel free to ignore, I am not a trainer nor do I play one on TV):
ReplyDelete1. young horses all need to learn that when there's a rider on the their back they cannot make decisions. But this is (understandably) not that easy a lesson because for much of their life they do decide where to go, how fast etc.
2. many horses freak out at something falling off their back. It's instinct. Stacey Westphall does this thing where she lunges a horse in an old saddle and pulls it off their back with a rope. she does it over and over until they figure out that the fall is no big deal.
3. I have many posts where I rode Steele through spooky things some of my ideas may be helpful. Also Royce did stuff with him too to help.
4. you could try when lunging or round penning to make sudden jerky movements and/or scream so he gets used to it.
just a few rambling thoughts.
I always appreciate your comments and you're right about everything. You've mentioned it on your blog and I'm pretty sure you've even mentioned it in comments on my blog. I read it, understood it and agreed with it, but I was still lax about it because for the last five years Chrome and I have always been in agreement. Now that we're not, it's different. I guess I'm just hardheaded and have to learn these things the painful way lol. I will definitely do the things you mentioned both in the comment and on your blog (I remember those posts). I don't want to longe him much because of his stifles, but I'll be doing some because he's not getting away with not exercising after all the effort I've put into trying to strengthen his stifles. I'm also thinking about taking up the long reining again. That way he can learn to listen to me when I'm not standing right in front of him, but without me having to be on his back. I need to find an old saddle to do the thing Stacey does... or I my have to make something... a bag of sand or something? I'm not giving up on him, but I'll be more cautious about climbing aboard that's for sure. For now while I wait for the fat supplement to leave his system it's back to ground work! Thank you for commenting!
Deleteso glad to hear that you are okay! i hope the aching gets better soon! i look forward to hearing what the future brings it looks like you've got lots of plans in place!
ReplyDeleteThanks girl! I feel better, but the weather is bad, so I haven't gotten back on. I was going to ride tomorrow, but now I have to work.... :( Then the rain starts again. Can't win!! This is why I normally stop riding in the winter hehe.
DeleteI hate falls. Hate them. And I know I've got some coming with Skeeter :( It's just the nature of the beast, I think. If you ride enough, you're going to hit the ground, and the older I get, the harder the ground gets. I think you're handling it fine and have a good plan in place.
ReplyDeleteUgh yes it does!!!! Everyone has always told me the ground gets harder and I believed them because I get wimpier the older I am, but sheesh I never expected it to feel that hard!!!! It was worse than I was expecting, but not as bad as it could have been so I got lucky. I knew I had to fall off someday, but I was really hoping I wouldn't hehe. "When" (since we can't say if) you fall off Skeeter I hope it is slow and on really soft ground and that neither of you gets hurt LOL!!
DeleteOr better yet I hope you land on your feet!! Those are the least painful falls. :D I've only managed it once or twice though because I have bad balance hehe.
DeleteGlad you are OK. This is the sucky part with young, green horses, they can be unpredictably calm, for looong periods of time, only to react WAY to big to something, anything, perhaps even a little jolt in their own head... Then we're stuck there, hurt, and confused. Left to analyze the situation. In some cases, it's just something that happened, and perhaps just an "eye opener" that will only help to keep the two of you safer...
ReplyDeleteHe's young. At least another two full years for him to be out of the "young" stage, no?
So, be proud of yourself and just continue on.
I'm in the same boat - but with an even hotter, wacky crazy mare that keeps "twigging out" as soon as she feels under too much pressure. (A trigger can be just me moving slightly jerky, or just two steps too close on the lunge line...) She'll make me look like an idiot over the next several years :)
Hopefully in the end - we'll both have two lovely horses!
You're way ahead of me - so keep going :)
Thank you for this sweet comment. This makes me feel very fortunate that he is sane 99% of the time hehe. It is definitely an eye opener and a reminder for me to not get too complacent though. I hope your mare settles soon! Hot horses can definitely be a challenge!!
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